THE TASTE OF SUMMER...

Since Mommy can't actually eat cake anymore, she went down to Ladurée to buy herself some 'Celebration Macarons' in honour of quitting her job today...

Amongst her usual assortment of Vanilla, Orange Blossom and Salted Caramel, Mommy decided to venture outside the box, and try one of Ladurée's signature summer varieties, Green Apple...

Now, this easily could have been a disaster... If it were too jammy, or too creamy, it wouldn't achieve that tart yet tangy quality that make green apples refreshing on a summer day, and may as well have come from the bottom of a jar of penny sweets... But these Parisian Pastry Chef's are no amateurs; not only did they achieve the perfect flavour sensation, but have also managed to lend a sense of crispness to what is essentially almonds and egg whites. At first, I thought I was eating a green apple...

Needless to say, for the rest of the summer, I only want Mommy to buy me these, unless they suddenly come up with Cat Food or Chicken flavours!!!

http://www.laduree.fr/

GEORGIE BEE'S ARE THE BEES KNEES!!!

Mommy and I are VERY bored at work today, and while I've been catching up on my beauty sleep, Mommy's been absent-mindedly reading my FaceBook news feed... Almost at the bottom of the page was a post by my (nicest) FaceBook friend Georgie Bee, with a link to some of her shoes...

Mommy just HAD to wake me up, because she knows how much I love super-cool shoes... And Georgie Bee's are about the coolest; they're the bees knees!!! Her Neomagpies 2 collection looks like candy floss woven into Gothic taxidermy with a 40's twist that you strap your foot into... I especially LOVE the gold G and B that flash out at you from the soles...

Needless to say, I've already put in a request for some in my size... Noodles-Pom-Pomette's away!!!

http://www.hellogeorgiebee.com/

http://www.neomagpie.blogspot.com/

MOMMY AND DADDY'S CRAZY DIET

As some of you may already know, my Auntie Gemma and Uncle Stef are getting married next month (I know, I know, not only is my little sis Perla a bitch, but she's also a bastard!!!), and have chosen somewhere warm and sunny to tie the knot (not like the Canadian Star Trek building where Mommy and Daddy got married!!!)... So both Mommy and Daddy have started panicking about being seen half-naked in a bathing suit...

Anyhoo, Mommy spent a day researching THE BEST DIETS out there, and came back with this little gem: The Lemon Detox Diet. Mommy ordered the Madal Bal tree-sap-syrup off Amazon for a whopping £25.99, which you're then supposed to mix with lemon juice, distilled water and cayenne pepper, and drink this sluge instead of eating... According to the 'real life testimonials' it tastes great and makes you feel full... Yeah... Beyonce reportedly lost an amazing 22lbs on the stuff, but as Daddy always says, she probably had the luxury of doing NOTHING, while trying to choke this shit down daily...

In the week leading up to their Detox bonanza, both Mommy and Daddy started following a very strict diet of no sugar, no salt, no carbs, no saturated fats, no red meat and no dairy, which pretty much leaves nothing worth talking about... Poor little me is the only one who eats anything tasty at ours anymore, but I more than make up for them missing out!!!

It's now day 2 of their Detox, and already, both Mommy and Daddy hate their lives, despite only doing the 'relaxed' version, which still allows you to eat one, very boring, meal per day... Mommy keeps whining about being hungry, and everything tasting like cardboard, while Daddy pretends that the devil drink 'doesn't taste too bad' and fills him up, even though Mommy saw him sneaking a french fry last night!!! It's OK, she had a Gelato to make up for it...

Is it worth it??? Who knows... But both Mommy and Daddy spend their time obsessing about all the tasty things they're gonna eat while wearing their bathing suits!!!

http://www.purenaturalproducts.co.uk/

APP HAPPY DADDY

Mommy used to yell at Daddy all the time, because she said that he had a really crappy mobile phone; it never used to ring, and when Daddy finally did answer, you couldn't hear him anyway... Mommy used to ask him why he bothered paying for the privilege???

So, when Mommy's contract was renewed, she gave Daddy her old iPhone, since Mommy said he insisted on flogging a dead horse. At first, Daddy pretended that his new iPhone was 'just another phone,' until Mommy showed him the wonder of Apps...

Daddy's newest toy is this App, the Hipstamatic, which has seen him take these stunning portraits of my lovely self, on a 3MP camera phone... He also took an amazing photo of my Uncle Stef and my other Uncles as a Manband, which everyone swears could be an album cover... Daddy even managed to convince Mommy to pose with me, which almost never happens, since Mommy says Daddy doesn't know how to take a good photo of her, and even now claims she has 'zombie-arm'...

http://hipstamaticapp.com/

POOR BRETT MICHAELS...

Mommy and Auntie Helen are both obsessed with Brett Michael's TV show Rock of Love... Mommy says it got her and Auntie Helen though the 'bad times' where they worked in Biscuit Hell together with Auntie Sarah... Auntie Sarah never actually watched the show, cuz she prefers boring art-house movies with subtitles instead, but Mommy and Auntie Helen managed to get everyone involved with their daily Rock of Love catch-up chats... Well, almost everyone...

Daddy says Rock of Love is nothing more than a stupid show full of stupid girls acting stupid in the name of getting laid by an old man in a wig, and can't imagine why anyone would choose to watch such drivel... But Auntie Helen and Mommy both agree, that the mindless, drunk, tweaked out skanks are exactly what is amazing about that show; how they managed to get so many of them in one room is truly mind-boggling, and why no one ever mentions the wig, is well, even better still...

But today Mommy is sad, as she found out last night that Brett Michaels has suffered a brain hemorrhage while filming a lesser reality TV show... She obviously emailed Auntie Helen immediately (she would have called but Auntie Helen is still a million miles away in her own version of Hell known as suburban Australia) to give her the bad news... Mommy hopes it doesn't upset Auntie Helen too much, as Auntie Helen is pregnant with a baby boy they're gonna call Megatron, and I get to be his bodyguard!!!

BYE BYE AUNTIE EVA...

Today Mommy is very sad as Auntie Eva will be leaving her to go work for Versace... It's not that Mommy isn't happy for Auntie Eva, cuz she is, it's just that Mommy will really miss working with Auntie Eva, since Auntie Eva is really funny and sweet, and also likes Jeggings and Apple Mint coloured nail varnish...

I will miss my Auntie Eva too, since she always takes care of me when Mommy steps out, even if sometimes my Auntie Eva forgets I'm not a Pitbull like her ginger puppy, and pets me a bit too hard...

But it's not like we're never going to see Auntie Eva again- she'll only be one street away, selling expensive hooker clothes to rich Arabs and Russian mail-order brides... Mommy said that hiring Auntie Eva was the only good decision Donatella Versace ever made- well, that and getting Christopher Kane to design next season's collection, so people with good taste might actually want to shop there again...

I ♥ AUNTIE RIVA

Last time I had a sleepover party with Auntie Riva, we decided to take some photos of us blogging, so you could all see what I look like hard at work, even when at a sleepover party-now that's dedication!!!

Then we took some silly photos for fun, since everyone always sees me dolled up for the camera, which is about a million miles away from what I look like first thing (see below)...

But sure enough, after a quick cuppa and jog in the garden, Auntie Riva and I were ready for work... There's no rest for the wicked, so off to R.S. Currie & Co for us bitches!!!